I believe in the power of Date Nights. I think it’s vital to carve out time for the sole purpose of connecting with our special honey. With our busy lives that is easier said than done. There is the logistics side of the equation, prioritizing Date Night above the other competing priorities, which can be challenging. Once you get that side of the equation completed I think it is equally challenging to be in the moment and actually connect with our partner. Clearing our minds tends to be far more difficult than clearing our calendars. My husband and I have had some crash and burn Date Nights and but most are wonderful and reinvigorating. Despite our crash and burn dates we continue to plan our Date Nights. As Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” (didn’t expect a hockey quote did you?). In the process I have learned some Date Night logistics tips that I hope you find helpful:
- Be realistic about what you can commit to. There is not a right frequency, activity, duration to make a good Date Night. We tried planning something every week and we ended up having more crashes than connection.
- Share the role of planning Date Night, we try to alternate.
- Set up some guidelines of what makes a Date Night. Change the guidelines when they don’t work.
- Put it on the calendar, both work and personal, and treat it as a priority appointment, because it is.
Dealing with the logistics is required, but a Date Night is more than planning. Connecting to each other is key, without connection it’s not Date Night. I believe this can be the most challenging part, being in the moment, not thinking about email, tomorrow’s details, and all the other distractions we can conjure up. I have an amazingly simple but effective answer for that dilemma. Dress the part. Don’t go on Date Night dressed as the busy, over-scheduled, buzzing brain woman you spend so much time being. Step out of that role and dress as the beautiful, vivacious, fun, Date Night loving woman you are. For me dressing the part means picking out that blouse I love but never wear, a slightly higher heel, and yes that damn my hair looks good wig. I will tell you what ladies, there is nothing quite like donning a new hairstyle to help you step into your Date Night self. With the right hair you will walk different, you will talk different and you will radiate. You will open yourself up to connecting because you will be confident and vulnerable at the same time. With the simple act of putting on your wig you have given yourself permission to be in the moment. When you dress the part, you give yourself the chance to be the part. So, go ahead get Date Night on the calendar and don’t be afraid to Wig Out!